Retirement and Rebirth again

Pregnancy is an adaptation of life on all levels: eating, sleeping, body, general movement, exercise, sex, daily interactions with self and others. And if you are willing to adapt to all of this, it can actually be ok (unless you feel like garbage all the time, in which case pregnancy just plain sucks).

In both my first pregnancy and this one, as the pregnancy progresses, I feel more and more like I’m moving towards retirement. There is an end to the current life/being/relationships that I have and there will be something new on the other side. Unlike other seasons and situations in my life, I can’t quite see what IS on the other side, and that’s where faith comes in. Trusting that all is and will be well.

I’ve never retired from anything before. I’m not really old enough, nor have I done many things long enough to retire from them. As I move onward to July 2nd, I feel more and more like I’m moving into retirement. My life and relationships as I know them will shift and change, because who I am now, will no longer be. When a women gives birth to a child, there are actually 2 births that happen. The one where the child is born, and the one where the woman is reborn into something brand new. My perspective of the world was completely altered after I had Lincoln. Things that I thought that were important, no longer held as much or any significance, because I suddenly had a new perspective that I’ve never been able to get, even through years of training and transformational work. How many chances do we really get in life to be reborn?

This is a process I look forward to and have some apprehension over as well, largely due to the fact that I cannot see as far as I usually think I can, and there is no way to predict exactly how it will go.

Trusting this process and trusting the divine plan and Maker, gives me ease as I steadily march towards a new beginning and leave the old self behind.

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